I'm not passive aggressive. I'm aggressively passive.
Is snark killing the web? Have at it, kids. Update: Gawker sez, "If there was less snark, the world would maybe, possibly be a better place. But it would be way less fun."
I can't say this in front of my regular audience so I'm going to vent in your comment section and hope this will amuse someone.
I've wanted a Gawker link for so long, now that I've got it, I'm trying to think of an appropriate analogy to express my disappointment.
It's kind of like flirting with a hot girl online for six years. You spend six years looking at her picture, reading all her self-indulgent blog posts, cranking up the volume on your phone so her twitter posts will wake you up. You might even enjoy a few abortive IM conversations and a brief birthday phone call.
In each case the contact is so brief and so well-managed that you remain convinced that this one is out of your league.
Then you finally corner her in a moment of weakness and she says, "Sure, fly on up for a visit."
You arrive to find that the pics are six years out of date, her body is ruined by postpartum fat and surgical scars and her apartment is strewn with fast food wrappers and mysterious bits of male clothing.
All the cool people she used to hang out with have left for greener pastures, leaving nothing but a house full of cats and an astonishing network of contacts from Second Life.
You've waited six years to be in this apartment, now all you want to do is wash your hands and run away.
That's how it feels to get linked by Gawker in 2008.
All the cool commenters are gone, everybody you wanted to impress has moved to Radar and you're stuck with a vague, queasy conviction that linking you is the ultimate proof of their decay.
posted by Michael Duff at 8:55 PM on September 29, 2008
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A fimoculous is a micro-organism that consumes its own waste for sustenance.