oct 23

Veggie Burgers

"I have a theory that you can tell how much a restaurant thinks about its food by the quality of its veggie burger." I like this theory.


Not many people know that I eat no meat, except occasional fish. Not that many people care either!

posted by Rex at 7:16 PM on October 23, 2008

Shake Shake opened a second location a few blocks from me on Columbus and 77th. Ive been there twice in the last two days. The shroom burgers are filled with cheese. There is no denying the superiority of this destination. Case closed.

posted by Andrew Baron at 8:21 PM on October 23, 2008

What brands did you buy when you actually went grocery shopping. I know it's been years, but I'm sure you can recall.

I'm a fan of Morningstar Black Bean Burgers.

posted by taulpaul at 9:21 PM on October 23, 2008

I just ate at the original Shake Shack, and had that very mushroom burger . It was amazing... And approximately 3000 calories.

posted by Rex at 11:53 PM on October 23, 2008

fuck vegetarians. unless you're not eating meat for some medical reason, which there aint none, carve a piece of fucking steak off that cow's hindleg you fucking twats. vegetables are fucking side dishes bitches.

posted by sloopy at 7:43 AM on October 27, 2008

you might also try getting the fuck outside and doing some exercise, not just your scared little trot to the neighborhood commune/vegetarian enclave you fucking pinko hippie fucks. looking behind you like a little bitch, thinking some bigger, brawnier, you know, carnivore is gonna come up behind- he doesn't even have to fucking sneak up on you, cause there no way your feeble veggie eating ass is gonna get away from anyway- and pants you just like the footballers did when you were in high school. Or maybe you were home schooled by yer hippie vegetarian mother who insisted you call her her Starchild instead of mom. Here, have a fucking pork chop. Enjoy it. Yeah, you're welcome.

posted by sloopy at 8:00 AM on October 27, 2008

so here's my advice. get some balls. get a rifle. go hunting. notice that the meat is running away from you. it's scared. imagine what it would look like to shoot it, right between the eyes. it's gonna be a little bloody. a person might sick. you're a bitch, so you'll probably cry. notice also that you don't feel that same emotion when you pull a fucking carrot out of the ground. that's right. that feeling is SUPERIORITY. it's good to be at the top of the food chain. If you don't recognize this feeling, it's because Starchild had you eating fucking bean burgers since you popped out of her cooch. I got nothin against beans- they're really good when you plop a big slab of bacon in em, or as a side dish.

Oh and you "vegetarians" that eat fish- you're the worst of all, fucking hypocrites. I don't wanna hear your lame excuses about sustainability- you know how that's gonna happen? the same way it always does... a shitload of people are gonna die. don't whine and cry that "it doesn't have to happen!" it does. that's how the system rights itself, you bleary eyed celery eating bitch. I'm goin to fry up some bacon cut from the pig i slaughtered yesterday. I know you're drooling... it's okay. sloopy'll save you a piece.

posted by sloopy at 8:05 AM on October 27, 2008

one last thing while my pigs in the pan. for all you chardonnay sipping twats who want to say, "it's just so sad! he's ignorant. he's just never tasted a morningstar bean burger!" I have. It tasted like someone shit in my mouth. I didn't do it willingly, i did it because for some chick who convinced me the way to her clam was through that burger. I choked that shit down because I knew I was getting the pussy later. What's your excuse? I know you're not getting any trim, so that's out. Maybe your boyfriend wants you to eat those fucking beans for whatever weird un American fucking homo games you play.

Aaaahhh... I gotta go eat the pig. Enjoy yer day bitches. Oh and shove that carrot up yer ass, k?

posted by sloopy at 8:29 AM on October 27, 2008

my problem with the veggie burger on most menus is that i eat meat, but am allergic to dairy, which show up on most ingredient lists that i've seen. so i just stick to turkey burgers. (don't even get me started on boca burgers, those are never good.)

my similar theory about restaurants is if the chicken dish is good then it's a good place, because every restaurant has to have one, but a lot of them just put it there as an afterthought, and put all their effort into the meatier dishes. if it's good, then they actually give a shit. if your menu is only 6 items, all 6 should be good, you know?

anyone who protests that much is definitely a closet vegetarian.

posted by kittyholmes at 1:34 PM on October 27, 2008

Well, now isn't that the way all you fuckin liberals twist the words that uptsading citizen like myself says and or writes? I am not, nor have I ever been a fucking vegetarian. I'll swear to it on the bible or whatever fucking book Starchild wants me to swear on. Vagina Monologues or some shit.

As for you kittyholmes, i'd like to think that your not a pinko USA hater but to be honest, i bet you got a fucking barrack hussein obama sticker on your fucking vegetable oil converted fucking volvo. run along to the local STARfucks, will you and grab yourself a big ol cupa french fucking latte or whatever the fuck it is they serve there bitter ass coffee. support that one and maybe in under four years time we'll all be eating carrots and driving priuses. and no, it's not fucking "prii" you fucks. Fucking vegetables are all we're gonna be able to affor when that one is done fucking with country. PALIN '12 She'll be the first fucking president i'll wanna rub one out to.

posted by sloopy at 8:40 AM on October 28, 2008

I'm convinced. Blog comments work!

posted by Rex at 12:46 PM on October 28, 2008

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