may 2

Wordy Juvenile Portraiture

While recently packing my belongings to move across the country, I unearthed a box of wallet-sized high school photographs. I'm not actually sure if the rest of the country did this, but back in the Midwest we would all write little phrases on the back of these photos (similar to the yearbook phenom) and hand them around to our friends. Gathered below is a collection of actual inscriptions from every high school photo I still have:

"Even though it may not seem like it, I think your a real cool guy and good friend." -Kevin

"I'm glad I'm getting to know you better. You're fun to be with." -Diana

"Don't forget we're drinkin' J.D. at the graduation party." -Tom

"To a real loser with the ugly shades. Keep rockin' and breakin' curfew. You have a nice car. I had fun running with and against you. If you want to be backstabbed, just call." -Devin

"To a crazy guy who has a heap of shit for a car, if you call it that. Good luck in the future & hope you party more." -Tommy

"To a pretty cool guy that I have gotten to know a little better this year. Hopefully we can get out and party together some weekend. Take it e-z on the girls and stay out of trouble." -Steph

"To the biggest dirtbag I know who has nothing going for him except a severe case of the herpes and a tight-ass girlfriend who is a dyke. But I still hope we can be butt-buddies. Don't suck too much dick and take it EZ." -William

"You're such an original. You really changed over the summer; I feel that you did, anyway. I consider you a close friend of mine, even if you don't. May God Bless You." -Sandra

"To a funny guy in school. Stay away from Todd in the future and if I will stay away we'll be friends." -Kasey

"To one cool ass guy who knows how to party and get into Deep Shit. Good luck trying to get something off Mac." -Mark

"To a neat and very cool guy. We have had some good times. We can maybe get another Santa. We have to party more." -Danny

"To a real nut who I feel like killing sometimes. But a funny guy. People change, I have told you that. But I hope you don't change too much. Hope we can party together sometime." -Connie

"You are the oddest S.O.B. I know but it's cool I guess." -Troy

Shockingly, McSweeny's Lists passed on this fine collection.


you made "drinking guilt" worthwile.

posted by pariah at 2:07 PM on May 2, 2006

Notable contrast: mention of you running competitively vs. seeing you plod around lake of the isles.

posted by tw at 3:28 PM on May 3, 2006

Say what? I'd say that's spam, but it says "Lake of the Isles" which I did live on until a couple months ago, but I still have no idea what that comments means.

posted by Rex at 3:41 PM on May 3, 2006

All I'm saying is everytime you're running around the lake you look hungover, so I never guessed you ran in high school, as suggested in Devin's blurb.

posted by tw at 5:25 PM on May 4, 2006

That was a political race, not a physical one. I ran against him in a mock election.

posted by Rex at 1:20 PM on May 5, 2006

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